Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
