Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
