Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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