so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
she smelled like a LAN party
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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