Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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