Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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