I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
