just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
