Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
