I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
