Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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