I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
