everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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