Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
