Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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