Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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