I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
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I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
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My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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