3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
