sorry about calling you the devil all night.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
