The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
