an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
