How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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