Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
