He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
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