She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
