I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize