idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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