I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
