I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
