I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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