i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
