I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
