Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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