Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
