You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
How's work?
Spinning.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
