You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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