one two three fourrrrnication!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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