This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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