and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
