i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
