If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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