Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
