Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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