So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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