Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
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ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
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