we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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