you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize