She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
