Sry I called you an 8
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
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