why didn't you poke me back
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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