remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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