i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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