we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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