If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
