super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
