Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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