my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize