I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
