why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize