Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
