yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
