Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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