I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
